Mar-ee-ag-e
I hope you didn't pronounce it 'Marriage', for shame.
So there was a wedding yesterday. True to form, I got my pad of paper ready and willing to go....then I forgot it. Luckily my sister was there to spot me. So here's the lowdown from the tiny pieces of paper I had, pretty much in real time.
'Our Lady pf Hungary Catholic Church
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The most boring I've ever been to. The pastor stared by speaking
very
slowly,
like he was learning to read.
We got here 15 minuets after it started and so we missed the brides march, and hence- little flower girl chile.
They've read from the book of Tobit(say WHAT now?) Matthew and 1 Peter.
No one laughs, no one smiles, I feel like slamming my head into the pew. Pastor is going on and on about DIVORCE! Maybe its just me but - I thought this was a wedding mass, not a counseling mass.
I'm just wondering how the Hungarian chicka met the Nigerian man. Pastor acts like what he is saying is off the top of his head.
The sister gives the bride away, with ring bearer in tow. The flower girl with her cute curly ponytail makes herself part of the giving away party. Her older sister or so has to tear her away.
And these vows are definitely not the cookie cutter version. Apparently, Catholics addfrosting to their vows. Nice. Miss Bride has the nicest accent, "Aye Elzbeita". Hot dress by the way, sleevless, well.... halter -tie-in-the-back number. Go Edwin, you've got yourself a looker.
An altar boy is doing the rumba in a chair, bored much?, poor kid. Flower chile is just jumping all over the place, how cute. Looking like Miss Tyra from WAYYY back in the day. One word FOREHEAD!
So, husband and wife are sitting on chairs now, after saying a prayer. Getting communion now. By way, the ring bearer was denied the ring pillow for reasons of his ancy-ness so he settled with aiming a pink rose at everyone in the church.
-By the way, when Pastor paved the way for the kissing of the bride, stud kissed her on the check.
4ish. So, reception time. They started 30minutes late, I guess to make up for being on time for the wedding ceremony. My brothers and I were Fairies of Light, lighting all the candles on all the tables amidst the slaw jawed stares of some and possiblly, the outright jealousy of others for not being chosen for such a prestigious task.'
The food was on time, I didn't die of hunger, they called all the over sixteen ladies to stand in line to catch the bouquet. We avoided it like the plague.
-And if we had all stayed still, it would have hit me smack dab on the head. Thank God for 16year olds itching to get married. Oh I'm sorry; Mar-ee-d
So there was a wedding yesterday. True to form, I got my pad of paper ready and willing to go....then I forgot it. Luckily my sister was there to spot me. So here's the lowdown from the tiny pieces of paper I had, pretty much in real time.
'Our Lady pf Hungary Catholic Church
Saturday, August 11, 2007
The most boring I've ever been to. The pastor stared by speaking
very
slowly,
like he was learning to read.
We got here 15 minuets after it started and so we missed the brides march, and hence- little flower girl chile.
They've read from the book of Tobit(say WHAT now?) Matthew and 1 Peter.
No one laughs, no one smiles, I feel like slamming my head into the pew. Pastor is going on and on about DIVORCE! Maybe its just me but - I thought this was a wedding mass, not a counseling mass.
I'm just wondering how the Hungarian chicka met the Nigerian man. Pastor acts like what he is saying is off the top of his head.
The sister gives the bride away, with ring bearer in tow. The flower girl with her cute curly ponytail makes herself part of the giving away party. Her older sister or so has to tear her away.
And these vows are definitely not the cookie cutter version. Apparently, Catholics addfrosting to their vows. Nice. Miss Bride has the nicest accent, "Aye Elzbeita". Hot dress by the way, sleevless, well.... halter -tie-in-the-back number. Go Edwin, you've got yourself a looker.
An altar boy is doing the rumba in a chair, bored much?, poor kid. Flower chile is just jumping all over the place, how cute. Looking like Miss Tyra from WAYYY back in the day. One word FOREHEAD!
So, husband and wife are sitting on chairs now, after saying a prayer. Getting communion now. By way, the ring bearer was denied the ring pillow for reasons of his ancy-ness so he settled with aiming a pink rose at everyone in the church.
-By the way, when Pastor paved the way for the kissing of the bride, stud kissed her on the check.
4ish. So, reception time. They started 30minutes late, I guess to make up for being on time for the wedding ceremony. My brothers and I were Fairies of Light, lighting all the candles on all the tables amidst the slaw jawed stares of some and possiblly, the outright jealousy of others for not being chosen for such a prestigious task.'
The food was on time, I didn't die of hunger, they called all the over sixteen ladies to stand in line to catch the bouquet. We avoided it like the plague.
-And if we had all stayed still, it would have hit me smack dab on the head. Thank God for 16year olds itching to get married. Oh I'm sorry; Mar-ee-d
Comments
pammy
now, i am avoiding aunties and uncles like they have the plague. went to staten island last weekend and two different families tried to set me up with their collegiate sons. Dis my yansh sef, it will put me in trouble...
That one na shyness abi wetin?
Na im type go tear the woman cloth behind closed doors o!
Hmmm...la reine sweetie, sorry i had to show my razzness with my pidgin english on this your well written queen's english post,lol.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Lol @ bouquet throwing,i too avoid them,i think they make people look silly,that's just me sha.
ode of the short N spicy kind
that will trigger the imagination
and captures the readers mind.
if you have
then put it for all to see
so i can have an orgy with words
then finally laugh with glee
not a long a boring rant
that you subject me to
but short witty and pleasing
and ne'er a sycophant.
BADSHOTTA!!!! ask Chxta.
Very funny!