Letter to the Dead 1

Hi Brother,

I know it has been a few years since I wrote last.
I'm not quite sure why though. I know the book Mom gave me was the first inspiration. I'm not even sure where it is now. Or what the title is. I just know its blue and very worn.

A lot has happened. Cousins got married and had children. There was even a wedding this year. The grooms brother had us sit with his friends and we were utterly ignored. I thought, if you had been there it would have been the exact same thing.

The boys are tall now, and still growing. I might end up the second tallest...
I graduated from University. Our sister is almost done.

You probably would have been married by now. I'd be an Aunt; babysitting every once in a while. I'd be asking you to help me get a job. I wonder how things would have been different with you around to have our backs at home.

I'd love to tell you how much I miss you. But the words sound like a lie.
I barely remember you. But what might have been, I miss that. Stories I could have heard. How family trips would have been different. ..The possibility of more pictures.. :)

I've stopped thinking I caused your death. It was a childish thing to think in any case. But what did I know about tumors? I've stopped hating nurses too, incidentally.

I do wonder, what would have happened if that day didn't? Would they still have found it? Would it have been found at all? Would your operation have been scheduled for an earlier date?

Would this letter be asking for advice or just saying hi?

Till heaven,
Bee