On Jurassic World
I recently watched this 'true sequel' to the unmitigated awesomeness that is Jurassic Park and wrote my thoughts in real time. Later I discussed it with two friends to fill in the gaps. You know, the gaps...in the code... Zero character names were used throughout. #SpoilerAlert---------------------------------------------------------------
Key: "Movie quotes" 'and' *actions*
My (meta?) thoughts -BM responses LB responses
---------------------------------------------------------------
9 mins into Jurassic World. Have already dodged stupidity.
"How did you get the dinosaurs to *awkward hand motion*". RIGHT after a speech about genetics and dna splicing.
"Do you go to sleep at Different times…?"
Psycho dino. She's great.
'Where's her sister?' "She ate her" *everyone is cool with this announcement*
Enter Velociraptor trainer in a vest. #science
They want to use them for Combat?! I cannot.
They don't. Know what. It's made of.
They don't. Know. What it's made of.
Da hell?
Gosh. It's a cuttlefish dinosaur. haha.
Cuttlefish, tree- frog, psycho dinosaur. K.
"Let's go off-road"
"You don't know old your nephews are?"
*kills for fun*
*hangs upside down in gyroscope*
*breaks unbreakable glass*
*runs on foot from giant psycho dino*
(Kinda repeating things from Jurassic Park.)
surprised psycho frog cuttlefish dino can't swim
-It doesn't have a fin
-It doesn't have a fin
But magic psycho dino is magic
*I opened my shirt and rolled up my sleeves. I'm ready for danger!!*
Magical drying matches
Genius can fix a car too? Lucky
Magic genius boy is a Genius!
Opportunistic ranger guy loses arm? Just a guess.
He can Dry matches that have Gone Swimming. With his smarts.
It [the car] worked immediately. They didn't even struggle to make it run. Sheesh.
"You asked for it to be angrier and more dangerous and have more teeth."
*runs gay in dark wood with heels* science
(fast, not gay. No one is happy here. Except newbie pilot man
-Haha, about that
*Crashes slowly. Explodes*
Opportunistic man has 0 feelings.
It's a good thing the boy brought the flying dinosaurs.
Motorcycle. Pool party. Lunch time.
Double fisted margaritas!
Opportunistic Man is a heart less automaton. Does he lose an arm And a leg?
-...
*dunk British nanny 4 times before eating*
was that a sexist thing?
I don't know. I honestly think they needed a reason for two pterodactyls to fight over something and get eaten by giant face whale dino.
They had to dunk her, because why else would whale dino show up?
#PlotMovementAchieved
*shoots flying dino off of vest man*
* gains respect of nephews for 3 seconds*
*earns kiss*
*gets embarrassed by nephews*
Opportunistic man is giant doodie head.
The kids are in love with vest man, aren't they?
Do the raptors eat opportunistic man?
-Stop cheating and watch
Opportunistic man will be noms. I feel this. Have genius magic from the floppy haired kid.
*Opportunistic man nervously feeds arm to raptor* I Knew it!
Opportunistic man Knowingly made psycho dino part raptor?? Because sense.
-So could you outrun a T rex in high heels?
Since it's possible to 'outrun' a TRex at all because of the power of Dr. Malcolm, why not?
Your feet don't hurt at all from sprinting all day in your office shoes.
#doctor #science
*I'm tired of fighting and quite full from eating nothing. So I won't attack you little raptor*
*goes in for a kiss* "Woah, I have a boyfriend"
The only legitimate excuse for not kissing a man.
Right. Because why else do women exist. Sorry girls*
Especially in the office! And pretty ones, too!
Oh snap, she was being distractingly sexy! How dare she!
*walks all the way to helipad to Roar. At. Nothing* sure.
-Like I said it was entertaining, but fantastically stupid. Even for a movie with cuttlefish dinos.
I would love to be Distractingly Sexy. #lifegoal
Here's to BM and LB for entertaining my commentary and the joy of talking about tiny plot details and scenic choices. Next up, the philosophical lessons from Pitch Perfect 2!
Comments