Buses and Doors

How's life treating you?
Me? Very well thank you for asking.

I'm in our fair nations' capital at the moment, as it is close to me NYSC LGA (got some things...) and I've got a place to stay :D

The other day I was fully kitted in that puke-Corper-Green ensemble and my trousers
were not-quite-as-long as I would've liked 'em to be. My I-am-eight-years-old-Long socks are at home so I rocked my Guess-who's-Normal-Short socks and flashed leg All over the place. I caught one conductor staring,(I've got burn scars) so I stared back until his brain woke up.

Most of the way to and fro I slept. I didn't feel quite up to whipping out my IPod as I would rather like to keep it, so to the land of nod I went. Especially easy when the gist was not so much dans la bus (in the bus).

I Was awake long enough to hear some guy ask the guy to his left if he saw 'the match yesterday', obviously referring to thing the Super Eagles did. So I looked back. I mean, you proly would have too. Next thing, the asker decides its just about the right time to start asking Me a few questions.

So now he knows my name and where I was posted. By the time he told me his name I decided that next time, I will not smile at people, unless they are with children, old or not guys. Not on the bus anyway.

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The next day, I went to see a friend of mine.( checked my mail for free, it was awesome :P )
After assorted pleasantries, like lemming tight and blushing in front of the folks, we picked up a friend of his and bounced along to see a couple more corpers. You know, the suit and tie sort.

Sadly, gists were cut short as I had a rather early 'curfew' and Tiz had to beat his parents home. (That 'curfew' sef, I just got here, gimme some time to work that out ;) )
My boy Tiz drove, through the gate and to the house, and THUS began the production of Opening the Door.

I assumed it was unlocked as me Auntie clearly said 'Come in' after I knocked, so door handle turning, I push.
Nothing.

Perhaps this door is shy, I think because of the size of the car that dropped me.
Door handle turn again...Push.

I'm wondering if I am indeed That small, I mean come on.
Turn handle. Push. Remember key. Turn key. Unlock.Turn Handle. Push.Push. Turn Handle...Push!

My Auntie wonders what exactly could be so difficult and comes to show me just how one opens a door.

Alas, the door is jammed.

Tiz tries, using the same Throw Body Against Door technique I had tried and grossly failed at.
De Nada.

Lots of repetition, my side hurts from laughing, I mean, I can't imagine what he put his back through. I'm sure his side wasn't to happy at being slammed against a door.

I eventually have to ask Ash, Tiz's friend, to stop watching the film for a moment and join in the Great Door Opening Task.
Norring for him.

By now, I'm sure the neighbors are wondering just wat is so funny, cuz when I laugh, I really laugh. Certainly no fronting there, and it was just about mid-evening. (Like, what time is that, right?)

We borrowed a knife and a spoon from the girls next door(....not those Girls...if you watch E!) and obtained a screw driver from Someone that actually threatened to break.

All trying and laughing. No opening.
Finally my Auntie tells the guys to just force it open. They rear back Bruce Lee style and....
The door flies open, Tiz lands with one leg in the house and the backdrop is laughter. Auntie included.

See the ground outside, leading up to the door, is about a foot higher than the floor in the house. So really, I'm not sure how he didn't fall in. Especially since Ash Jackie Chan'd the door open, and Tiz used all his energy to land.

Cutlery is returned to the girls next door and after a full appraisal by Tiz and Ash both, at least, what they could see through the open door, the boys move towards the car, all ready to go.

And then the door on the drivers side refused to open...
.......it did eventually open, and by then Ash and I had to match Tiz's seriousness...I mean, dude had to beat the 'rents home, sure he coulda done without 20 minute Opening Ceremonies. ;)

-I think I may hate Yakubu SE. If I cared enough to recognize him if I ever saw him, I may be moved to spit on the ground near his feet.

Oh, P.S I was slightly lost the other day and standing by the road side in the darkness, waiting for me four-wheel-driving help when some random Negro got all up in my grill and said "I WANT you to HELP me with 500 NAIRA". Twice. I ignored him as I prayed fire and started planning how I'd cause him as much physical pain as possible if he chose to try anything funny. Thankfully, the freak show walked on....I run down o.

-Hope you all get your miracles.
Here's to friends being there when you need 'em, and truly missed when they aren't there.