I Almost Died

-I was recently reminded that life is short.

I'm in a cab, on the streets of Abuja, sometime past 6pm. I'm feigning disinterest while stealthily noting that where I am is in indeed enroute to where I'm going.

I'm vibe-ing off of the natural AC coming in and rushing by the right side of my face. I'm totally oblivious to who else in on the road.

Then Someone, the Owner of the Road perhaps, tries to nudge the cab with his car.

“Ah Ah!” The cab driver exclaims as he weaves out of his way, jerking violently to the right -forcing me to pay attention. I look to the left just in time to see a sea of light brownish, creamy sand advance towards the right. Toward the metal casing that happens to encase me and our dear cab driver man.

We SWERVE, making a rapid S motion. This time, I feel myself still moving towards the right as the car is taken eastward again and straightened.

I find myself in love with my seatbelt.

I'm surprised to find my gadgets still in my hands.

I realize; MY LIFE DID NOT HAVE TIME TO FLASH BEFORE MY EYES.

So, if we weren't on the far right of the road....I mean, if God had decided to.....that is to say, if some Negro was coming along by our right…….- going as fast as we were.....I look at the speedometer-

Nothing.

Not even Zero, not even 80, 120, who knows?- the thin red pin rests on the lowest point of the range. Below all the action and way out of order.

I can't tell how fast we're moving. The objects outside the window seem to be yelling 'Slow Down!' as they blend into each other and fade into oblivion. I want to say a prayer or two or four. I can't remember anything but Thank You Jesus. I praise God and falter, Where are the Adjectives?

The cab man wants to vex. He wants to; I don’t know, beat down on the Road Demon and make him repentful. He's talking to himself, because I'm not listening…

I want to touch the ground with my feet.

I wonder how the phone charger on the dashboard didn't fly out of the open window.

I wonder what I'd be wondering if we had hit someone...

A traffic light has stopped the ebb and flow.

Up ahead is a creamy-sand colored Peugot 504 with an arm hanging out of the drivers’ side window.

In my mind, 'God punish you, you wan kill my Momma's first child?', 'Maaan, some people....'

Cab Driver Man is ranting and inching forward.

A uniformed hand sticks out of the passenger side window.

A uniformed man regards us as we glide by. His blank expression revealing nothing and everything; his general lack of care or feeling.

The cab driver and I stare back without really thinking.

-I now know how people in the car feel before a drive by.

Through my eyes, 'Because you have a shiny Peugot? See as your life dey. Nonsense. See as you dey look sef. Abi you never get conscience?' My head fills up with assorted words I try not to say. Followed promptly by ‘Lord forgive me.’

The traffic moves, or rather surges and Cab Driver man feels like going for Round 2. He has determined some course of action in his mind.

I tell him not to vex. I say, 'Abeg, make you no vex'. He mumbles something. I wonder just how bad my Pidgin sounds, and wonder if I could just leave the car-incase.... They turn left.

I praise God that we're going straight. I thank God when I got home. I decided not to divulge the tale to my Auntie.

I told a cab driver today and he shook his head. I told him because he wanted to vex at somebody for Daft driving. I figured he needed a bit of perspective.

I told my friends and they laughed; especially at the part about my life not having time to flash before my eyes. Dear me, I don't think I am That young...

But seriously. No Thank You Jesus. No Save me Lord. No nothing. I barely registered what was happening by the time it was over.

If a car had been coming on the right that would’ve been it.

There is No Time.

-Here's to anyone who caught the humor, anyone who paused to think.

-Holla's toward everyone who remembers to love, before, after and in spite of Valentines Day.

-Prayers to the victims of the latest school shooting, their families, friends and those wounded.