NaPoWriMo Day 4: Then You'll Go

Day Fours' prompt is a 'loveless' love poem or otherwise non cliché break up poem. 

Then You'll Go

I'm trying not to say I'm sorry
I'm trying not to call women 'girls'
I'm trying to figure out where the pigs are and keep away from them my pearls

I'm not sure what it is I'm doing
I'm not sure who it is I am
but I'm really hoping that
you want to give a damn

I don't want to give you drama or bad habits
I don't want to bring you down
I want to be the opposite of anything that'd make you frown

I'm not sure who it is I am and
I'm trying to realize why: because I think
I thought I knew - then purple streaks went through the sky

I'm not too certain if I'm uncertain because of something that I did
or if it's mostly because of something that I have or haven't said

I'm trying not to say I'm sorry
I'm trying to say this is who I'm am
I'm trying to keep away from complaining
I'm trying really to give a damn

I'm looking up and seeing nothing no clouds no light
I'm looking up, waiting for something
I'm holding my hands
I'm wishing tight-ly

I'd like you and I to move forward
I'd like to change our status quo and
I think that if I do that then you'll sigh
and then you'll go